Charmin vs. Cottonelle

I love my mother more than anything, but she has a serious toilet paper dependency.  I don’t have a problem with it,  she maintains her own personal hygiene standards and I love that about my mother, but we seriously go through one to two giant rolls of toilet paper every day.  EVERY DAY! It actually makes me crazy because she likes to sit and tear off sections of threes and sections of fours and whatever she doesn’t use goes on top of the radiator heater in the bathroom and eventually falls behind it so that I am CONSTANTLY picking toilet paper up off the floor.  And don’t get me started on how many times a day I have to plunge the toilet.  It doesn’t matter the brand or the ply, if you put too much in the toilet, it ain’t gonna flush.

Toilet paper is also killing my grocery budget.  One third of our weekly shopping money goes to toilet paper, paper towels and now Depends (they are really expensive and the cheaper ones are not dependable- go figure).  And the bad part about the Depends is that this isn’t a phase like kids in diapers, we are not going to grow out of this. OY! But I digress, back to the toilet paper.

Remember when toilet paper came in one size?  There was no thinking involved, you just bought it and next time you went to the grocery store you bought it again.  It’s toilet paper for crying out loud.  Sure, you had to pick a brand but things have changed.  Now I have to decide whether I want double or triple rolls, 12 that are really 24 that are three ply or 6 that are really 18 but two ply, thicker, softer, stronger or more absorbent.   My biggest choice is the brand, I choose between Charmin and Cottonelle because they are the only two brands my mom will use.  I swear.  She never uses a roll down to the last sheet, she always starts a new roll when the old one is about a half inch from the cardboard center.  Not sure why but that’s how it is at our house.  Not only do we use it, we waste it too.

I like Charmin: when nature calls, Charmin answers.  I went online to and filled out a P&G Brand Sampler to receive coupons just this morning and got this message:

We’re sorry, due to high demand this offer is no longer available. Please find other great offers from P&G brands below.

Check back soon for more offers from Charmin®!

Are you kidding me???  Your not answering me and nature is calling quite frequently at my house.  We spend a ton of money on toilet paper, Charmin: you’re killing me!

As for Cottonelle, I can’t even vote over or under because we go through rolls so fast I don’t even bother putting them on the toilet paper roll thingy anymore.  No joke, this is a fact.  (I like ‘over’, Mom taught me ‘over’, my Dad doesn’t give a crap-haha).   I do like Cottonelle, and now it’s now softer for a comfortble clean and stronger for optimum performance.  OK- we like performance in our toilet paper, we also like that rolling over is America’s preferred way to roll.

At this point, all I care about is best price for best quantity.  The quality of Charmin and Cottonelle has already been Mother approved at my house  so I’m asking nicely, guys:

Please send coupons.  If you want to trump the Wheat Thins hoax, I’ll take a truckload and it will be the best thing that has ever happened to me.  Yep, a truckload of toilet paper is what would make me happy.  Go figure.


About stockardj

Living each day caring for parents that are ascending in age. Dad has Vascular Dementia, Mom has has suffered four strokes. Looking for silver linings every day.
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One Response to Charmin vs. Cottonelle

  1. Ariel says:

    Is there a Kroger in your town – if so, I’m sending the one I have……for Angel Soft! (-:)

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